Welcome To The Frank Yates Commemorative Hall!
Frank Yates (1902  1994) was a very early computer enthusiast and a 20th century statistics pioneer who contributed to the early development of statistical computing. He became the head of statistics at Rothamsted Experimental Station in 1933 after R.A. Fisher left for University College London. His contributions to the field of statistics were in areas such as the design of experiments, analysis of variance, the balanced incomplete block design and Yate's algorithm. For additional information on Frank Yates, refer to http://wwwhistory.mcs.standrews.ac.uk/Biographies/Yates.html
Now displaying the humorous side of Statistics...  
201) 
Then there was the intriguing story in the early 1940's of the eastern university that had its beginnings in recruiting statistically inclined individuals to serve toward the war effort and offered them free tuition and room and board. The students were housed in elegant Victorian buildings arranged around a courtyard. The instructors hired were the absolute top statisticians from all corners of the USA in the field of multivariate analysis of variance. This project met with such huge success that when the war ended this university was named after their residence halls and the central topic of instruction. What was the name of this university? VILLA...ANOVA!!!

202) 
Have you ever encountered a Statistics Professor... (a) Who holds an eraser in one hand and chalk in the other gliding from let to right placing material on the blackboard, and then quickly makes it all evaporate before you can take notes on it? (b) Who proves a theorem with enthused elegance adding an obscure "QED" at the end with a graceful touch, and then NOT have a single student question this strange signature? (c) Who adopts an expensive 800page textbook for the course but primarily uses it for the extensive tables and then, to make things worse, only on the days you don't happen to bring it to class? (d) Who spends HALF of the semester on the first third of the content for the course and the LAST WEEK of the semester on the last third of the content? (e) Who regularly refers to "calculus" as the explanation of a statistical principle but knows full well that 90% of the class has never taken the course let alone heard of the word? 
203) 
A beautiful young woman invited a brilliant statistician friend to her Company dinnerdance. The invitation stated that she could either bring her spouse or her significant other as a guest. having just met this chap and being unmarried, she felt certain that he would more than fill the bill since all statisticians are by definition statistically significant. When they arrived at the door, the maitre d' inquired as to the status of her escort. She smiled and promptly introduced him as an upandcoming statistician that was her significant other for the evening. The maitre d' was stunned and his face grew red. He finally stammered in an embarrassed tone of voice, "I am so sorry madam, we cannot admit your friend. STATISTICAL SIGNIFICANCE DOES NOT IMPLY PRACTICAL SIGNIFICANCE!"

204) 
There once was a statistician named Maximilian.

205) 
Why did four groups of chickens cross the road? Because ANOVA's were done on the other side. Why were ANOVA's done on the other side? Because only ttests were done on the first side!!!

206) 
In this year of massive recalls, it was just heard on the evening news that there was a recall of certain hip replacements. What? You've got to be kidding me as John McEnroe would shout!! But REJOICE all you statisticians, this finally gives us the right to RECALL many published significant studies from journals that were later proven to be nonsignificant!!!

207) 
Where do statisticians have accidents with their cars more often? Research has shown that it is the MEDIAN of multilane interstate highways where the grass is MODE short. What does this finding MEAN? It suggests that statisticians are middleoftheroad people who detest being an outlier in the ditch.

208) 
Perhaps everyone should lighten up on the President. The Stimulus is working! Why, just two months ago he got jobs for 63 Republicans!! Moreover, he praised the original tParty (William Sealy Gossett's) for declaring this job increment statistically significant at the .001 level!!

209) 
Let us ponder the unthinkable. Suppose the Normal Curve as we know it had never been discovered by Gauss? What would the statistical world of today look like? (1) Of grave concern, sampling distributions of statistics would never APPROACH a normal distribution. What a revolting and depressing state of affairs (2) The Bivariate Normal Curve in 3D (i.e. the true bell curve) would never appear and be rotated on Internet web pages. Additionally, 3Dmovies of this action would never be made and the 3D glasses industry would suffer immeasurably. (3) The ubiquitous onepage standard normal curve table of selected percentiles would not appear in any statistics textbook. This table has been the hallmark of all statistics texts and statisticians would go start raving mad not seeing this gem. (4) The Statistical tee shirt business would be defunct. (5) Percentiles of sampling distributions of every imaginable statistic would all have to be developed individually and tabled because of (1). This would lead to monstrously thick textbooks with half of the book devoted just to tables. Oh my, the cost of a book to a student would be $500 or more! Also, how would a student lug this to class? (6) AS the dfvalue of a tcurve increased, the tails of the curve would shrivel up and go to nothing and the points of inflection would disappear. That is, the curve would have domed top and vertical sides. The end result would be nothing that you would recognize (maybe look like a garbage can) and certainly far removed from a normal curve. But wait a minute, we don't have a normal curve anyway so who cares what we end up with? (7) All curves or distributions would now be labelled ABNORMAL for a start and a whole new nomenclature for these would have to be developed to lend descriptive qualities and specificity to their appearance. What a nightmare and polyglot of new names! (8) The nastylooking formula for the probability density function of the normal curve along with its contained venerable "e" (the base of the natural logarithm system) would no longer appear in textbooks and scholarly works. This would be a horrific loss because an instructor could no longer flash this formula on the board for shock effect when introducing the normal curve to show students this curve is really not very "normal" mathematically. (9) And last, but not least, the multivariate normal distribution and all its applications would drop from the statistical scene. This could be the most heartbreaking loss of all since matrix algebra is the heart and sole of this technique with the necessity of the variancecovariance matrix employed in lieu of just a single variance in (8). In my estimation, this is the most elegant application of matrix algebra in all of mathematics and enables the field of multivariate analysis to be explored with concise clarity and understanding. 
210) 
The Normal Curve in its critique

211) 
Where do married couples who are both statisticians sleep?
And why is this so comfortable? ices to conceptualize pvariate multivariate tests when p>2 without the use of pictures is one of the most impressive revelations I have encountered in mathematics.

212) 
THE MURPHEY EXPERIMENT: One day a professor named Murphy wanted to demonstrate the laws of probability to his statistics class. He had 30 of his students spread peanut butter on slices of bread, then toss the bread in a flipping fashion into the air to see if roughly half (the expected value = 30/2 = 15) would fall dry side up and half would fall on the buttered side, assuming that this sample would be representative of a sample distribution of bread tosses. As it turned out, 29 slices landed peanut butter side down on the floor and the 30th slice stuck to the ceiling. GASP! MURPHY'S REPLICATED EXPERIMENT: A true scientist, Murphy conducted the experiment a second time after extensive cleaning of the room. All of the bread landed buttered side up! Murphy consulted his old statistics professor for counsel on what he was sure was a very rare event. His old professor didn't feel qualified to deal with the question, and conferred with colleagues of the International Society of Statistics and Probability. After months of waiting, the scholarly verdict was relayed to Murphy..."You buttered the bread on the wrong side!!"

213) 
"Most people give you an anticipatory grin when you mention a STATISTIC, frown doubtingly when you mention the plural STATISTICS, and grunt and groan in a gurgle when you mention A STATISTICS COURSE."  Dr. Gary C. Ramseyer 
214) 
Did you hear about the big robbery several weeks ago at the Museum of Science and Industry in downtown Chicago? Two masked and armed men stole six ORDINANTS near the middle of the large replica of the NORMAL distribution and the whole thing collapsed like a circus tent. When the maintenance staff discovered the disaster they were scared half silly. They finally decided to take all the remaining ORDINANTS, cut them into equal lengths, and reassemble everything into a model RECTANGULAR distribution. The next week NOT A SOLE visited the exhibit because it was UNIFORM and boring!
